Whether you have a long car ride to Disney or are just looking for fun screen-free ways to kill time waiting in lines at Walt Disney World, jokes are always great! Or perhaps you are a Jungle Cruise skipper in the making. Enjoy some bonding time with your family with these kid-friendly Disney jokes and Disney puns!
- How does Clarabell Cow feel when she’s sad?
She’s moo-dy!
- What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her pictures in the mail?
Someday my prints will come!
- Which Disney character would make the best handyman?
Tinkerbell!
- How much did it cost Captain Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear!
- Where do Disney characters love to eat?
Mickey D’s!
- What is Tarzan’s favorite Christmas carol?
Jungle Bells
- What is Clarabell Cow’s favorite game?
Moo-sical chairs!
- What did the 101 dalmatian puppies say after a buffet?
That hit the spot!
- What happens when Olaf has a temper tantrum?
He has a meltdown!
- What time does Donald Duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
- Who is Clarabell Cow’s favorite singer?
Moo-riah Dairy!
- What should you do when Donald throws you a ball?
Duck!
- What is Peter Pan’s favorite restaurant?
Wendy’s!
- Who is Thor’s favorite rapper?
MC Hammer!
- Why is Jessie so confident when playing darts?
Because she always gets Bullseye!
- What is Minnie Mouse’s favorite activity?
Minnie-golf!
- What is Hook’s favorite restaurant?
Arrgh-bys!
- What do you call a lion with no eyes?
Lon!
- What is Woody’s favorite car?
Audi!
- How does Quasimodo solve crimes?
He has a hunch!
- What is Captain Hook’s favorite letter?
Some people think it’s R, but it’s the C he loves!
- If Winnie the Pooh had a girlfriend, what would his pet name for her be?
Honey!
- How is Yoda such a great gardener?
He has a green thumb!
- Why does Goofy wear two pairs of pants when playing golf?
He heard that he might get a hole in one!
- Why would you not want to be one of Snow White’s dwarfs?
6 out of 7 of them weren’t happy!
- What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from Muppets Studio!
- Which Disney princess won the race?
Rapunzel, by a hair!
- Why did Mickey Mouse cross the road?
To go on a Minnie vacation!
- What kind of books does Buzz Lightyear like to read?
Comet books!
- Where does Captain Hook buy his hooks?
The second hand store!
- Which Disney princess is Clarabell Cow’s favorite?
Moo-lan!
- How does Jack Skellington get a tissue to dance?
Put a little Oogie Boogie in it!
- Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
To visit Pluto!
- How high can Buzz Lightyear count?
To infinity and beyond!
- What does Daisy say when shopping?
Put it on my bill!
- Why was the wrong Disney princess arrested?
They thought she was someone Elsa!
- What does Olaf eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
- What did Nala say to Simba while being chased by hyenas?
Move fasta! (Mufasa)
- What does Minnie drive?
A minnie-van!
- How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?
Mouserable!
- Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
He never lands!
- Which princess tells the best dad jokes?
Ra-PUN-zel!
- What is Grumpy’s favorite fruit?
Sour grapes!
- Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She runs away from the ball!
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!
- What does Tiana say to a friend she is meeting for coffee?
I’m almost there!
- What do Beast and Gaston have in common?
Every last inch of them is covered with hair!
- Why does Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
- What does Ariel put on her toast?
Marmalade!
- What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A Toy-YODA!
- What did Captain Hook’s sidekick say to Adele?
Hello, it’s Smee!
- Why is Gaston the most peaceful Disney villain?
He won the No-Belle Prize!
- How does the ocean say hello to Moana?
It waves!
- Why didn’t Anna and Elsa’s parents teach them the whole alphabet?
Because they got lost at C!
- Why did Dopey stare at his orange juice?
Because it said “concentrate”!
- What did Lil John say when he went to visit Disneyland?
Turn down for Walt!
- What is a bee’s favorite movie?
Beauty and the bees!
- What Disney princess would make the best judge?
Snow White: She is the fairest of them all!
- What would make Scar a better lion?
If he was a bit more Simba-thetic!
- How do you keep Pumba from charging you?
You take away his credit cards!
- How cold was it in Disney World?
So cold, Donald Duck was wearing pants!
- How does Snow White like her eggs?
Egg whites only!
- What happened when Mickey and Minnie first met?
It was glove at first sight!
- Why did the banana go to see Doc McStuffins?
Because he wasn’t peeling well!
- If Cinderella were a dolphin, what would she wear to the ball?
A glass flipper!
- How does the Scarlet Witch channel her magic?
With a magic Wanda!
- Is BB hungry?
No, BB-8!
- Why do you like Disney World so much?
I don’t know, there are so Minnie reasons!
- Which body part loves theme parks?
Dis-knee!
- What would Shang say to Anna from Arendale?
Let’s get down to business, to defeat the Hans!
- Should we tell Ariel the truth about dinglehoppers?
Nah, fork-get about it!
- What did Simba say to Taylor Swift?
I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Now, I’m lion on the cold, hard ground!
- Why is the lost boys’ favorite movie Peter Pan?
Because it never gets old!
- Where does Minnie Mouse live?
Minnie-sota!
- What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite holiday?
New ears eve!
Looking for more jokes?!
When you’re in the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World, be sure to hit the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor in Tomorrowland! Every show is different! While you are waiting in line to enter the theater, guests are encouraged to submit their best (or worst) dad jokes via a text line. The MCs during the show deliver jokes that are so bad, they are great! You will make memories sharing these jokes for years to come. Ask me how I know…
I am a mother of three that has refused to grow up. Adulting is for the birds, so I go to Disney World every chance I get for that magical escape from reality. I believe that Haunted Mansion is the best ride in all of the Disney Parks, and I am fervently in team Happily Ever After for fireworks spectaculars, (sorry, not sorry, Enchanted). Finally, I hope I never grow tired of skipping down Main Street, USA, and my dream come true would be “friends with” the Fairy Godmother in my old age.
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