Are you a fan of the Jungle Cruise? Do you like jokes so BAD that they're awesome? Ya, know like Dad jokes? If so keep reading for the ten best Jungle Cruise jokes.
Jungle Cruise is my all-time favorite attraction. I am a sucker for bad jokes, which is exactly what this attraction is all about. While Jungle Cruise skippers have their standard jokes there are always new ones popping up as skippers spend more and more time lost out in the jungle.
Of course, in 2021, we got a whole Jungle Cruise movie that was just packed in new bad jungle jokes, as well as a nod to the classic jokes, told on the attraction.
The List of the 10 Best Jungle Cruise Jokes
On Previous Jobs
Before I came to the Jungle, I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. My boss almost beat the pulp out of me...
On Haunted Mansion
Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this boat actually leaving the dock? Or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: this boat is completely surrounded with water, and I'm you skipper. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course you could always swim away!!!
Sleeping Zebras
Do you know why it's so hard to eat zebra? You keep getting white meat - dark meat - white meat - dark meat.
Waterfalls and the Eighth Wonder of the World
This is the backside of Schweitzer Falls, named for the backside of the famous explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.
Classic Warning
We are now entering the most dangerous part of our journey. Shhh. . . This is a bad place to be headed.
A Classic Paradox
As we approach, please notice that there's a dock on the left, and a dock on the right. But don't let it confuse you. It's a paradox. Also on the dock is a pair of dorks, they will help you out of the boat.
Pirates of the Caribbean
I think you knows too much. You've seen the cursed treasure. You know where it be hidden. You may not survive to pass this way again. DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. . .
On Bathing
Awe look at those elephants bathing over there. You know, you make think that's water coming out of their trunks but it's snot.
Unbeatable Offers
There's old Trader Sam, head salesman of the area. Business has been shrinking lately, so this week only, Sam's offering a two-for-one special: two of his, for one of yours!
Romantic
Oh no! Look at the Hippos that are about to attack the boat. Don't worry I know just the thing that will scare them away, it worked on my last boyfriend. Screams, "HEY HIPPOS I LOVE YOU. I REALLY WANT TO MARRY YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER."
Even More Jungle Cruise Jokes
- Check out the butterflies on both sides of the boat, their wing span ranges from 1 foot to a whopping 12 inches. This makes them the ruler of the jungle.
- Butterflies aren't what they used to be... caterpillars.
- Around here it rains about 365 days a year, if you think about it that's almost every day.
- Tigers can jump over 20 feet but don't worry we are only 15 feet away, he would just jump right over us.
- Feel free to take out your cameras and get some pictures of elephants, they all have their trunks on.